Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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