So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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