Is it normal to miss your booty call?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
