If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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