awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
