he wants to bone in the snuggie
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
