Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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