It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
