He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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