Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize