I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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