Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
