I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
