Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
