Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
