nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
