I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
