she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
