Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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