love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
