the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I cut my penus on the lid.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
