Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
