Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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