I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
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