I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
