I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
