i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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