Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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