Porn is love you can see.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
