Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
