You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
