Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize