So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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