I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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