i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
