so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
