Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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