in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
All I want is dick and wine.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
