Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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