She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
