He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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