The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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