i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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