i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
How does it feel to date your dad?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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