The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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