I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
