You made me cry and you don't even care
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize