On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
