and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
