UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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