Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
time to smoke my breakfast
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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