it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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