His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
How's work?
Spinning.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
