Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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