It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
