And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
