My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
