Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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