I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
