Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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