So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
