I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
