its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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