Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
