So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I am one with the molecules
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
