I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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