I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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