Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
