Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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