there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
