You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
