she was so not down for the gang bang
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
