I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
