hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
