Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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